I would like to publicly report the appearance of a person known to be unwelcome on the west coast of Florida. He goes by the name of ‘Jack’ Frost, real name unknown. An injunction was issued against him some time ago to prevent his unwelcome visitations to these regions, but I have it on good evidence that he was here last night. Please be on the lookout for this man and, if spotted, report him immediately to the authorities so that he might be sent back to places where is more, shall we say, warmly welcomed.
[Update: I have included the screenshot to the right so that those of you in other areas can be moved to sincere sympathy for us. You should note that the low last night was 20 degrees below normal. I hear you weeping.]